Work has become tedious. The walls of your home seem to be closing in. You NEED a holiday. But the thought of travelling with your children, your child with autism, is less than enticing.
Families need vacations: time to escape the regular chores, schedules and routines of home and family. Holidays mean a chance to break away from process, a change of pace, new setting, different food, people and activities; not exactly autism friendly! Travelling with children is always more challenging, but planning a holiday with a child with autism can seem downright daunting.
Start small
There's ways to alleviate some of the stress and generate an enjoyable getaway for every member of the family. Some simple guidelines and smart planning will make a big difference!
Children with autism do best with learning in small steps. If your child has never had time away from home it is wise to take a “mini vacation” for a few hours, build up to a whole day and soon after that a night away. The more familiar a child is with a new activity the less anxiety they will experience. A few hours spent in an activity close to home that's similar to what you plan to do on holiday, will be worth the time and energy. You may choose to visit a local museum, a nearby beach, a mall or spend some time on a boat. The closer the “mini holiday” matches the real thing, the better. The more practice a child has with an activity (given the proper strategies) the more they will be able to regulate emotions and enjoy the experience.
Take time to preview
Our anxiety levels typically increase when they have no clue what to expect about an upcoming event. Plenty of people have a difficult time with the “unknown.” This is true of children with autism! As adults, they may choose to browse a travel guide, read rating scales and look at photo galleries of places where they plan to visit in order to preview where they are going and what they can expect. Our children who live with autism will benefit from these activities as well. Browse the Web, peruse travel brochures and maybe even visit a bookstore and/or library to permit your child to read about a specific place that you plan to visit. There is an abundance of books about travelling on an airplane, visiting grandparents, ocean life or life in big cities. Whatever you choose to do with your family, reading about it is an awesome way to acquaint your children with the idea.
Don’t leave home without the visuals
Individuals with autism gain a sense of calm from predictability and familiarity. When planning a trip, highlight the route on a map and if you know where you plan to stop, mark those spots on the map. Maps are often appealing to children with autism and they provide a visual instrument that the child can hold and manipulate as they travel. For children that can read you may consider providing a list of some of the towns or cities through which you will travel. Children can check them off as they go or use them as a reference when they need to know, where they are. Maps and trip itineraries are useful tools to reduce anxiety because they provide a tangible reference point and predictability. Route changes can also be made quickly on the map or written on a piece of paper.
Visual supports are an absolute necessity when travelling with children that have autism…even if you are away from home for a day! Pics, calendars, maps, brochures and photos provide individuals with autism a priceless gift of predictability and order. Holidays can be filled with distractions, changes of designs, new events and unknown people. The potential for meltdowns is high when family members are tired, routines are off, and emotions and expectations are on overload and. Visual supports can act as an anxiety reducer and a welcome relief.
Not knowing how days will be filled and what will happen next is unnerving for individuals who live with autism (and for plenty of non autistic people)! Plenty of of us rely on electronic gadgets or day planners to keep us feeling directed, calm and in control. When planning your family trip, bring along a calendar or a day planner of some sort. Attach a strip of Velcro on each day of the trip and bring along pics of activities or places that are associated with each day. Photographs, brochure cut outs, or homemade pics will work. If the child is able to read, then writing on the calendar gives our children the opportunity to see what's coming and to organize the time in their minds. The Velcro offers us the flexibility of changing designs if necessary. It also demonstrates to our children that events are not always fixed; designs change. The key is to teach the child to refer to the calendar when they are feeling uneasy. Reward them when they do so. The alternative is to listen to a constant barrage of questions.
Plan time
Choose a few favorite activities than trying to cram everything in to the day. A trip to Disneyland can be a sensory nightmare for a child with autism. Limiting the amount of activity completed in a day will go a long way to making the trip more pleasant for the whole family. Do you have to visit all of the theme parks? Is it necessary to shop in every mall? Must you participate in all of the resort activities? Your child with autism may not be capable of managing the sensory, emotional and social stimulation that more typical children are able to cope with.
Holidays by nature, tend to be very social, unpredictable and novel. Children with autism need “downtime” from the hustle uncertainty of holidays. This may mean allowing him to participate in a favorite activity for a portion of time; whatever activity they truly enjoys doing that helps him to unwind. It may mean that the child spins, jumps, twirls a sensory toy or sits in a seat. Watching the history channel while the family is down at the beach may be what the teen with autism needs. The activity is child driven and NOT the parent driven. Using a timer or visual clock helps to set parameters around the activity. Using cell phones or Walkie Talkies permit parents and children to communicate when they are not in direct contact.
Children with autism may not be able to generate ideas to amuse themselves and parents shouldn’t have to be entertainment directors. Some simple tools will make unstructured times like travel time and waiting for flights much more bearable. Start with a written or picture menu of all of the available items to play with. Be sure to show only the choices that ARE available! Fidget toys, digital toys, magnetic travel games, ipods, handheld games, a whiteboard with markers and magnetic puzzles are invaluable when down time is non negotiable. “Wait cards” and “Unavailable cards” are invaluable when they need to let a child know that an activity or item is either delayed or not available. These cards must be part of the child’s daily life before the holiday so that they are tolerable for the child during the holiday. Pack a bag that contains all of the activities and be sure to have it handy when the waiting begins. Using a timer or a schedule helps the child know how long the activity will last.
Plan for unstructured time
As adults they may find ourselves assuming that a child knows how to act in various situations. Children with autism may have no idea what's expected in a definite setting and there is a lovely chance that they may not be concerned about what's expected! Different settings have unspoken conventions that maintain a sense of order. When visiting museums, churches, art galleries, public parks, zoos and amusement parks, think about the hidden rules that typical people instinctively “know.” Avoid embarrassment and frustration by reviewing the “social rules” ahead of time; keep them short and sweet. Ask the child to repeat them back to you and be clear about a reward or reinforcement for abiding by the conventions.
Practice Social skills and expectations
For example, the rules of hanging out on the beach could be written as a social script and reviewed each time a child goes to the beach:
A social script can be quickly written on paper or a whiteboard before the child is expected to participate in an unfamiliar social situation.
People like to play on the beach and some people like to lie down on the beach.
They are careful not to kick sand on people when they walk in the sand.
They can lay our towels next to each other in the family.
They can lay our towels 1 or 2 big steps away from someone that they do not know.
When they lift our towels they are careful not to shake sand on other people.
The beach is fun.
The most important item to make sure you bring along on a holiday is the expectation to enjoy it. Our thoughts control much of what they experience so it is worthwhile to affirm in your own mind that this time away will be fun. Remind yourself to watch your children as they experience new things; smirk, breathe deeply and laugh often. When designs don’t work remind yourself that “it is what it is” and your reaction to a situation is what determines the outcome. Choose to be cheerful and positive and your mood will likely rub off on the rest of your family.
Choose to have fun
Plopping your children in a automobile, driving for three hours and telling them to stop whining won't likely result in a great holiday! Planning ahead will play a large role in generating a holiday that's fun filled. There's little things that they take for granted about travelling that they must be aware of so that they can generate a great holiday. You need it. Your family needs it. Go ahead and have fun!
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